Matza in Melbourne

Well I hope that the title of this e-mail didn’t put too many people off from opening it. Being in that post-pesach state of “even-see-matza-I’ll-vomit” myself I appreciate that this could happen. This aforementioned fragile condition wasn’t helped this morning when I got on the flight from Melbourne to Sydney to be served a Pesach snack complete with chocolate coconut craparoons! Never mind! I’m in Sydney now, have just been out to eat pies in Bondai Beach and I can see the Harbor bridge AND the Opera House from where I’m staying. All is good!

But back to Melbourne!

If you remember from my last installment, I arrived in Melbourne erev Pesach with a severe case of sleep deprivation. My friend Becky picked me up from the airport, (most appreciated particularly in my zombie state) and dropped me off at my friend Adina Rathner’s house where I spent the first 3 days of Chag. The Rathners were very welcoming and tolerant – in particular when I went up for a small nap during the Seder meal only to return several hours later to find them just finishing clearing up! No, there were no hand actions and funny noises to “Chad gad ya” for me this year (and Adina’s 95 year old uncle sung it in Yiddish as well!) Although I wasn’t keeping second day I went to Adina’s sister at half time to catch supper and possibly second half of Seder to make up for the night before but alas this was not to be as fatigue got the better of me again…. Ho hum – next year…

For those of you who may be currently (understandably) going through a crisis about living in Israel please allow me to point out at least one good reason for sticking things out… transglobal friends! Melbourne was a really surreal experience in as far as I’d never been there before yet I knew so many people – both those who I’d planned to see and those I just bumped into (mostly outside Mizrachi shul – legendary among the “Bnei” people I know from Israel). The former made up a group of about 15 friends in various states of transition between Israel and Melbourne - be it holiday/ shlichut/ permanent return/ on route to other destinations. Good to see them anytime of the year but particularly great to catch up over Pesach because what else is there to do over Yomtov?

Overall I did like Melbourne. It was cosmopolitan, had a funky scene, a good nightlife, green leafy suburbs, accessible out of town trips, good (if varied) weather, sea and views - what more could you ask for? I’m not sure, perhaps I’m just not a big city fan (you’ve seen one botanical garden/skyscraper/arts complex you’ve seen ‘em all) but it definitely wasn’t THE highlight of my trip. Then again a city that has a good vibe to live in may not make the best city to holiday in and vice versa. Also its juxtaposition to New Zealand in my itinerary may have put it at a disadvantage as New Zealand was just so outstanding and I had such a good time that the following destinations were bound to suffer in comparison. Realizing that I cant be the only one to feel this way makes me wonder how people travel the world in a year or even less and really appreciate everything they see and experience.

I tried to minimize the comparison by having a different type of visit. Well firstly I was in a city whereas New Zealand I limited my city stays to a very minimum. Then, staying with friends and not in backpacker hostels made a big change, and not just for obvious differences in comfort level. Its totally different seeing a place from the eyes of people who are working and living there (particularly in an ethnic community as our own), as opposed to when you’re almost solely in the company of backpackers and tourist industry professionals. I think both give you insights but of different varieties. I’ll be quite happy to get back to the less down to earth traveler insights, as I think that’s what taking a trip is about, but it was good to have a break all the same.

Friday, aka second day Yom Tov for suckers, I went on a whistle stop tour of downtown Melbourne with my friends Ilana and Ahron. This exclusive outing covered: the recently rejuvenated trendy area of St Kilda; Ackland St (home of the historical European cake shops); St Kilda’s pier (well the land end at least); the Crown Casino (open 24hours, 365 days a year, floors of pokies and card table – common cause of family tzurus and in particular a current court case in the Melbourne Jewish community of a man who embezzled much clients money whilst telling his wife he was at work where the phone lines weren’t working); Southgate (no not a north London suburb but rather a snazzy newly built urban promenade on the bank of the Yarra river ); the Victoria Art Museum complex (is that the Eiffel tower on your roof or are you just happy to see me?) Flinders St station (meet you under the clocks) and then finally home via Chapel St – popular local shopping and entertainment area often to be classified as FOJ (full of Jews). A nice day all round with the added bonus of a demonstration of Melbourne’s weather being four seasons in one day. As they say, in Melbourne if you want to see what the weather is like – wait a minute!

Anyway… so what’s next? Well what do you know - Shabbat again, and this time round to my friend Rochelle Harding (nee Goldberg) parents’ house for Lunch.

What has been very interesting for me here in Melbourne has been meeting and hearing about my friends families because the community is so different from England. Whereas 3 out of 4 of my grandparents were born in England, most of my friends parents weren’t even born in Australia. Hearing about Hungarian and Polish rivalries (we’re peasants a proud!), European accents, stories of kindertransport and relative reunions years later on, successful businessmen today who only learnt English aged 17 - all these are stories of past generations for me but they are very much present here as the community is essentially a post-war community. I felt like an assimilated Jew when Adina’s mother tried to explain to me the food she was making for breakfast and I don’t know any of the Yiddush terms. What was even more interesting I think is the affect of this generation difference has on the most random things. For example everyone was telling me how big Melbourne was but I couldn’t get it and then I realized why - I wasn’t used to the Jewish suburbs/ghetto being so near the city centre. Then I realized that the Jews just haven’t had chance to move out to the outer suburbs yet ala along the tube lines in London or out towards Whitefield or Cheadle in Manchester.

I think the difference in generation and the space available really made the difference between here and the Jewish communities I know. It really strikes you when visiting Caulfield and East St Kilda - the Melbourne Jewish Ghetto - just how beautiful and un-ghetto like the streets and houses look.(PPA in Golders Green is a slum compared) Personally I was gob smacked, coming from London and Israel, both places of cramped housing. Walking around the area I found the whole atmosphere far too relaxed to be all-Jewish! Houses that would look quite at home in Herzilya or Hampstead seem relatively commonplace here. I couldn’t get over how many public buildings and James Bond hideouts one street could have! A bit too much for me but if this lifestyle is really affordable can you really blame the community for getting comfortable. After the recent suffering that just the last generations have been through its pretty clear that they plan to stay here for a while. Lets hope that the Melbourne community can maintain its vibrancy and diversity to support this stay. Funnily enough the Melbourne community is still very Zionistic and I saw many more kippot srugot than expected but as my friend and social commentator Jane Jacobs said, these people are arm chair Zionists sitting very firmly in their armchairs. But again I find it hard to blame them

Sunday was an easy day. Moved over to Becky’s flat (a really nice place in East St Kilda) and then shopping and comedy – a winning combination by me! The former was done in Chatstone (puts Brent Cross to shame in prices and size) and Queen Victoria Market (tacky souvenirs and cheap clothes) The latter was the Crème of Irish – 3 Irish comedians, pretty funny (I liked the line about 10 green bottles – perhaps by the time you get to the 5th green bottle accidentally falling you might begin to suspect foul play) although their level didn’t seem so far off from what I can do (on a good night!) so that got me thinking again…. Not sure what about but thinking all the same!

On Monday I took a trip to the Great Ocean Road. This is a must for a visitor to Melbourne / Victoria in anyone’s books. It’s a grand scenic route running along the Victoria coastline, which was built between 1916 and 1932 in memory of WWI martyrs by WWI veterans, literally with pick and shovel. The aim was to create work for those returning from war as well as to be a memorial. It is a very beautiful route that you can take several days going down, staying overnight at any of the resorts on the way. This wasn’t happening for me so I decided to day trip it instead. I was warned about doing this in one day as it is basically a 5 hour drive one way to get to the major sites making it a 13/14 hour day trip all in but following Yomtov and Shabbat this didn’t faze me, especially as I didn’t have to drive. The weather was great and I enjoyed all our stops on the way at various points of interest. I also enjoyed discovering Victoria’s Gold 104, cheesy 60s to 80s hits all the way – fantastic - just what you need for a good road trip!

Our first stop was to spot wild Eastern gray kangaroos roaming freely on Anglesey golf course. I found the phenomenon of golfers (not traditionally a particularly tolerant and inclusive breed) willing to put up with kangaroos actually more amazing than the animals themselves. Next stop Lorne a local fishing spot and popular resort, followed by “Teddy’s look out” to do exactly that (the lookout point is so-called because the area used to be populated by many koalas however since a bush fire, I think in 1983 known as Ash Wednesday although I could have my dates confused, they are no longer – no habitat no koalas said Fred). Anyway at this point I was still in mode of nothing compares to New Zealand but this view was still quite stunning and it was here that knowing that I hadn’t seen coast lines and windy roads like this in New Zealand I realized that it actually reminded me of Chapman’s Peak Drive in Capetown which is not an uncomplimentary comparison. Our stop for lunch (explaining matza sandwiches to “Wade” our actually Kiwi part Maori driver was made slightly easier by the fact he’d spent 8 months in Israel and loved it) was preceded by a drive up through a Eucalyptus forest to spot koalas. Did u know that koalas sleep 19 hours a day and can only feed of 2 out of 800 species of eucalyptus? Well now you do… Did you also know that Mother Nature is Queen camouflage hence finding koalas in Eucalyptus trees makes “Where’s wally/waldo?”,(delete as appropriate for cultural accuracy) a breeze? Post lunch onto a drop off stop at Apollo Bay, then to do a short rainforest walk (15mins, huge trees, pretty cool – the whole coast line used to be rainforests until the white man came and yelled the first immortal “timber!” last century) and finally we headed on for the true highlights of the trip – sets of great rock formations, one the site of a famous shipwreck whose name totally escapes me and the other the 12 apostles – huge rock like cliffs standing independently on the shores of the ocean (cant quite count 12 but impressive all the same).

Next day’s trip was less about natural phenomenon and more about man’s (yes I do mean man – I shall always refer to the white MAN when talking about ruining countries!) reaction to one. In Sovereign Hill, Ballarat about an hour and a half outside Melbourne there is a mock mining town on the site of what was a real mining town during the Gold Rush, which began in 1851. (Well technically Ballarat McDOnalds is on the site of the original mine but we’ll ignore that for the romantics amongst you) On the way, almost by accident we passed Ballarat shul which was consecrated in 1860. It kind of makes sense that out of the people that flocked in to make a quick cent out of the gold rush that there would be a fair number of Jews. (The museum at Sovereign Hill actually gave a breakdown of nationalities of immigrants at the time, the majority coming from the British Isles. An interesting indication of the long distances involved was given by the numbers whose nationality was counted as “born at sea”!)

Sovereign hill is a great place to take kids – as there are oads of activities all within the set up of a mock township. I was there with Ilana, Ahron and Ilana’s nine year old brother Ezra who enjoyed the mine tour (with real water and ladders) and dressing up as a soldier on parade. A lot of effort has been made to give the feel of the place – all staff were dressed in period dress which put my Tower of David Queen Miriam to shame.

I enjoyed a candle-making demonstration, which was the unlikely setting for my first discussion related to the indigenous Aboriginal people which had an even more unlikely segway. The guide (in shopkeeper dress) was explaining how candles were made – the differences between those made from tallow (which is animal based) and paraffin. He pointed out how many rather dangerous ingredients have been in candles over the years including arsenic and lead oxide and that how candles, soap and chocolate actually had quite similar components (living as I was on pesach food I was familiar with that concept). Somebody made a comment about the candle factory being next to the funeral parlour and the guide in character gave a kind of joking throwaway line about when they ran out of tallow (which is made out of animal fat) that was always an option. There was a bit of a hush in the rom and the guide coming to the end of his official speech went on to tell an anecdote about how he made that comment before in the presence of some German tourists who had pointed out that that what was done by the Nazis in WWII and meanwhile at the back there was a Jewish couple (by description obviously Haredi) and that how they had not looked very comfortable at this exchange. This line of discussion somehow lead the guide to talk about information that wasn’t mentioned around the museum. Apparently at the time of the Gold Rush there was a 40th regiment of the army notorious for getting rid of “unwanted” peoples. They played a key role in aborigine massacres and were shipped abroad to help fight others such as the Maori in New Zealand and so on. In the model township they have soldiers in this uniform parade and the guide said that not surprisingly they don’t bring up this rather unsightly part of their history as its not seen to be part of the history of the gold mine but how he felt very conscious of it while wearing the costume in front of Aboriginal visitors.

Just recently the museum have introduced an Aborigine educator to start kids programs but up until now no Aborigine history was mentioned at Sovereign Hill at all. One thing they had learnt already from this educator was that some of the local names did not mean what they had thought. For example near by Wynderee was thought to mean “Near by water” because it was near a lake. In fact it would transpire to mean “Go Away” which was what the Aborigines were trying to say to the European invaders.

Interesting where candles for the gold mine can lead you hey?

Wednesday, brought last day Yomtov for me, and a chance to catch up with friend and former boss Jo Friedman, hubby Andye and kids. Now taking out Yomtov Israeli style is a little difficult because you can’t actually eat chametz or at least not what you’ve sold or any bread. This did not prevent me from using my time well however. One thing I had been recommended to do while visiting Melbourne was to go to the Gold Class cinema. This a cinema which seats maximum 20 people and everyone gets an easy Joe armchair (or whatever they’re called). In addition to this sheer luxury you can order food or drink from the bar and have it served to you at different times of the film so for example – I’ll have an orange juice after half an hour, M&Ms after an hour and a coffee after 2 hours. Total unadulterated pampering but hey I’m worth it! The film I chose to see was “A Beautiful Mind” which I did enjoy even though I understood the criticisms it received. What I particularly was impressed with – spoiler coming now – skip to next paragraph if necessary – was how they portrayed the voices he heard. It was very clear that these never go away but somehow (inadequately portrayed by the film admittedly) one can over come and choose not to bend to their powers. I found this very powerful as I think we all have our demons, temptations, weaknesses we just have a choice whether to surrender to them or one day at a time seek the strength to overcome.

My last trip in Melbourne, on Thursday was one I wanted to do but even I didn’t I would really have had little choice. Philip Island is famous for its penguin parade where you can watch the penguins come out of the sea and waddle into shore to rest for the night. For those of you who don’t know, my sister Debbie has a huge penguin fetish (no I have NO idea why) so basically I went on a great penguin pilgrimage in her name! The parade only happens 6:45ish in the evening (thank goodness the clocks went back otherwise would have been there even later!) so the trip, leaving Melbourne at 12:00 stopped off on several places on the way. These included some kind of Wildlife Wonderland, which was so tacky although we did get to see a wombat (called Forest Grunt) and feed more kangaroos. It was set out very gloomily with peepholes to look at the wombats in every point when they weren’t being put in a yard next to roosters!. There was a sign saying that they don’t breed well in captivity. Not bloody surprising with people peering in all the time (they’re nocturnal animals) and roosters next door. To be fair the Center do good work as they take orphans whose mothers are killed by cars and release them back to the wild when they’re big enough to cope but the place was grim. Maybe it was the giant worm collection that put me off or the pickled white shark (Damien Hirst eat your sheep’s heart out) but I’m just finding that tourist stops here are just that bit more common than New Zealand’s were. Am I biased or a snob or both? Don’t know but Aileen who I’d got chatting to on the bus (from New Forest – manages properties for Jewish retirees in Bournemouth and actually likes them) agreed. I think it was the wonderful car signs they were selling that really raised the tone (“go bra-less and get rid of your wrinkles” was a particular favourite). Also went to a koala sanctuary where they were slightly easier to spot but still no chance to hold one.

As your mother often said when in the car – look outside and be observant. Well it’s definitely worth doing that in Australia as they have some hysterical road signs that you don’t want to miss. Here are three of my current favourites.

1) “Wrong Way – Go Back”.
Slightly paternalistic, even more banale, this seems to be found positioned facing traffic coming in the opposite direction. Surely you could stretch the argument and have that on every road???

2) “Caution Cemetery Ahead”
Coloured the same as the “caution koalas” or “caution kangaroos” signs one wonders what they expect – cadavers ala Michael Jackson Thriller walking across the highway?

3) Keep Out – You may step on a penguin
Cute and to the point but I just liked the imagery!

Well back to penguins and final stop before the penguin parade was at the Nobbies. Yes I know only the Australians could have a place named the Nobbies but this was actually one of the most impressive sites I’ve seen so far. You’ve seen the opening scene to Grease – Olivia Newton John saying goodbye to John Travolta with “Love is a many splendoured thing” playing. Well the waves crashing against these huge rocks, which is what the Nobbies are, were just outstanding. The sea was just white foam for ages and the water showered up so high every time the waves crashed down. Also as you’re not allowed to take photos at the parade, this was our chance to see if we could catch a shot of penguins already inland. At this time of year the penguins eat a tonne so they can come in land for 17 days to shed their feathers. We managed to sport several just going into their holes to moult. Those we didn’t spot gave themselves away through rather big grepses for such small creatures.

I think watching the penguins come in during the parade was the nearest I’d come to cheering on a marathon. As the sun is setting one penguin will emerge from the shore as a kind of scout comes out (theme of Exodus would be a good soundtrack for this) and then about 10 mins later a whole troop of penguins suddenly swim in. (Not sure if it’s a troop or a school of penguins. Somebody suggested a packet perhaps?). Once they’re on the shore they waddle along all going in their own way and own speed branching off to their own places for the night. We waited for a second group and then we walked up with them (behind rails of course) By the end you’re accompanying maybe a group of 4-5 as the others have gone their own way and you feel you want to cheer them on. I was already with the orange quarters and the Mars foil capes for the end! It was all extra cute because these penguins were a certain type of penguin called the little penguin… for a reason! Barely a foot tall I was almost tempted to take one!

My last proper day in Melbourne was spent doing odds and ends in town, sorting out forward travel and trps. Was quite proud of myself as I finally worked out how to pay for the trams and make my way into town. (Everybody says its easy because Melbourne is like New York, its on a grid. Well that’s all fine and dandy but New York has NUMBERED streets, duh!) I got my photos back from New Zealand, which are great but really made me appreciate the importance of writing down things as they happen as my memories become so dependent on pictures. There’s always the occasion where you couldn’t take a camera or sometime the picture just doesn’t capture it all. This was a good lesson to realize during my trip.

Coming from Israel I am used to ex-pat memorabilia and one thing I’ve noticed is that the persons birthplace is often well represented in the art they display. If one is from Wellington you may have a watercolour of the harbour and bay. If you are from Capetown you will definitely have a picture (one at least!) of Table Mountain. But if you are from Melbourne if you have anything you will probably have a large framed painting of the most sacred landmark from your hometown… the MCG! (Melbourne Cricket Ground, where ironically they play most of the Aussie rules football - Melbourne is the heart of Aussie Rules at the sport started here in the 1850’s.)

As my last tourist spot I had a toss up between the MCG and the Immigration museum. Not quite sure how it reflects on me but I went for the MCG. Of course somebody somewhere didn’t want me to go because as I got there at 2:30 I found that the 3:00 tour (that’s what’s worth going to) had been cancelled due of the game that evening. I went into the Olympic museum and the Cricket Hall of Fame but it just wasn’t the same. Sorry Dad, I tried… I even went to the Aussie rules exhibit but it gave no explanation as to why they wear such funny looking vest tops and tight shorts to play in….

This leads me to Shabbat where I finally spent some quality time with Becky who also entertained Shabbat lunch. Sat night I went to the cinema and saw Monsters Ball - a real pick me up film – not! This one the academy can keep. And that leads me to today. I’m Vaucluse in Sydney where I’ll be till next Saturday night.

Love again to all of you. Of course I didn’t mention how hearing about the situation has hardly been pleasant not to mention the irony of me calling my parents in Netanya to check they were ok. Thinking about you all as ever and I AM coming back and I think its that fact alone that’s allowing me to have this incredible break

As always
As ever